We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty

Who Were You In a Past Life?

2009-05-14T19:52:20Z

You Were A Greasy Magician.

Where You Lived: Poland.

How You Died: Buried alive.

Tuesday

2009-03-04T05:56:01Z

Got there. Nathan and Natasha were there. As was Andrew and Brad. Brad was pretty excited that by having me there that sabre "won." Then some other chick came. I think she used to come before. Last semester for sure. I don;t know her weapon. I think sabre but she did foil. the three did footwork with Wayne(and the tall hot dude joined them....Dave??). Then we(the 4 of us) did stairs. Once, then from 7 on one foot up two at a time(one for me), then from 7 up two at a time(much easier). Brad checked "the door" and yes, it was unlocked. Again.

We went down and by then it was like 7:30 and Cheryl had come. Also some other girl who did foil I think that is staying with Cheryl while she is in town(she definitely knew Natasha and the rest of the foilers but I don't know how long she fenced here).Marissa gave Sergei some sort of Russian food(looked like pilaf) and jarred raspberries. Then Sergei started his lesson with Andrew and the foilers set up their electric equiptment. We did footwork. I couldn't keep up. Peter game. We got electric gear. Olivia came for lessons with Sergei.

Blue gauntlet number 40 jacket. fits really good. Haven't found a smaller lame than 50. Then me and Alex just decided to go to the room to fence. I made fun of him for still plugging his sabre in. The electrical gear was SO HOT. SO HOT. We decided to bout after piss poor exercises. Then Brad came in. He called for us but we could have no blade contact(the rule so we'd use distance and stuff).He also taught us what a "Stop-hit" is. Where you lean your legs and arm forward and hit on their cuff just before stepping back. Like having the back leg already out while you do it so you can retreat quickly incase you miss. Then Rene found us. Alex had to go but he beat me 10-9. I really don;t think he tries much with me.... or else he is usually good at parry riposte(which I suck ass at).

Then I had to fence Rene. I won, but I don't remember by what. There was a couple of times he'd back me into the chairs and I'd freeze up. To scared to make an attack on prep, eventually Andrew taught us to sort of bounce on front leg, feint while stepping back randomly hoping they let their guard down or lunge and miss. I suppose last ditch plan is to do a point-in-line, but I don't think we were allowed after Alex did it wrong(he was doing it but also stepping back while I advanced so he was loosing priority all the time. You have to stay still or, I guess, better is to move forward with it).

Then I fenced Brad. We played with the 5 point handy cap and I think the score was till 10-8. So I only relaly got 3 touches but oh well. Hi reminded me not to move my blade so much as I advance. I guess I do the opposite of what I used to, but I don't realize it. He said if I DO move it, try to go sideways. I lunged and missed(my ratio for that is really one touch per 10 no touching. Horrid. He's like "why don't you extend fully?" and I'm like "Because I never make it anyway. I mean I ALWAYS come up short" and he's like "Because you think you will" and I'm like "Nooooo because I just do" and He's like "Well, have confidence and you will do it. I've seen you do it, so you can" and so I THOUGHT I'd hit him the next time. Positive thoughts and still missed(Though Andrew was there and he makes me nervous so I don't know if it was that.....but that positive thinking crap just doesn't work.). Then I lunged, missed(surprise) and was making a quick retreat and fell on my ass. My runners got caught on the carpet, since it isn't slippery like the other hardwood floor where you just push yourself back and yeah. Fell on my ass. He was so sorry though and I was like "...it wasn't your fault" luckily I ididn't hit my head or anything. Just got a bit of rugburn on my left palm. Then We did one more and I was scared to retreat fast after that. Then Andrew came in. Reminded me to do the fake out thing while retreating and to help me with missing my lunge. I don't QUITE get it but he's like "don't rush" move, change your pace, slowly and then when you are in the distance -LUNGE fast and accelerate. I mean, I guess I;d always lunge too soon.....I don't know. I did get one hit in with a lunge and DIDN'T miss while he was coaching me so maybe I just have to slow down and not rush it.

Then I(well, Andrew corrected) called the bout for Rene and Brad and the score was 8 or 9 to 10 for Brad. Then I packed it in. Tried to push the door and it was pull, which the hot foil guy said to me. Sooo embarrassing. Then Brad said that Rene needs to work on keeping his blade up(BTW, Andrew didn;t have to correct my blade in en guarde once. Though he did say once "point it at opponent," I guess I had the blade to vertical. Whoops) and I need to work on my lunge. He promised to help me on Thursday with that. I really want to improve it. I have NO acceleration and its just sloppy and I throw out my front foot and keep the leg straight, and land with the heel, and keep my knee OVER the toe of my shoe AND keep that leg completely forward whist not leaning forward. Bah, too much.

Left at 9:30ish and got home at 10.

Things to remember: DO NOT ALWAYS HIT AT MASK. An apt fencer will figure it out. I seem to only hit there when I lunge. SMALL STEPS in both advance and retreat. Andrew has to tell me ALL the time. Keep blade moving but horizontal with feints too. Hand BEFORE landing in lunge.

Retreating options: Beat blade to take away ROW and attack(in same line), do the moving forward feinting and step back that Andrew was talking about hoping they'll make a mistake, Stop cut, Point in line. or just Attack on prep.

Thursday

2009-02-27T14:56:36Z

Got there just after 7. Only Harrison, Andrew, Brad and, Diomel.
Played x and os with Catherine. Did the stairs. from 7 did the one leg hop up 2 steps. Once we got to the top someone is like "is that door actually locked?" (as per the sign on the window of it) and I tried and it was open so we went in. Harrison was in front and there was a hallway with a bathroom that opened into a like staff room or conference room and apparently there were people in there(most of the lights were off) so, Brad, Catherine, Me and Harrison booked it. Then we ran down. Kiren had come and was waiting. Started stretching. Half assed really. Sergei came, Alex came and we did footwork. Oh. My. God.

After awhile, he didn't even aknowlege me, which is fine because I could not a)do things correctly at that speed b)understand one of the drills c)legs too weak to do some of the stuff. Like ex. In en guard position take 5 advance steps progressively getting to complete crouch and then five steps forward coming OUT of it. I couldn't even do it once let alone come OUT OF IT. I was also not keeping my left leg out in into correct position. We did this the long way too not even towards the mirrors but like our stage for Ukrainian dance.

Then we got masks and sabres and me and Brad did distance. He advances on me and triest to lunge and hit my mask. Then after his hit I advance and try(keyword: try) to hit him. Then he went with Alex. Then we got out electric equipt.
Regular jacket. body cord. Put weapon prong through glove, put glove through lame so the wrist will be conductive.
zip up. put clasp somewhere on lame(the clothes pin clasp). Then put head cord on little loop on back on neck and also on sabre. Plug in Sabre. attach three prong into the box. Pull lever down. and use the necklace-like hook to attatch it to the lame on the plastic ring on back of lame.

I felt I needed to rego over that. Cheryl and Rene came.

Alex and Brad. Cheryl reffed. Cheryl and Brad, I reffed. Me and Cheryl. Alex reffed. Alex and Cheryl, Rene reffed. Cheryl and Rene(I gave him my small mask and never got it back and had ot use an even bigger size: Medium. It was bouncing around like crazy), I reffed and Me and Rene. We did like a game to 20 ponts. I kid you not. Because Andrew was calling for both ours and the other groups and wasnt really paying attention to us and was like "if you guys wait, I will do yours" and then Rene kept going when Andrew could go "allez" so I did too. So we got to like 10, and then Andrew called ours. I lost like 6-10. Against Rene. Whateves. He is good at blade work. Also I couldnt get around his parrys to repost. Andrew tried to teach me at the end but I hardly remember. One that goes(just the blade) under opponents WHIST moving towards there body to make the touch. And another where you do all your movement on the inside(make a kind of wide gesture to get the inside of their arm rather than the other one(outside).

Attack on prep: Person who doesn't have the ROW(not advancing) hits before advancer
Remise: Stealing someones repost. They have parried your attack but don't repost or don't do it fast enough.
When you beat, you steal the ROW(have to make an attack IMEDIATeLY after the beat though)

Lame, size 50(WAY too big)

"just don't ever give up... even if you feel like you suck. Because there's one thing worse than sucking, and that's not fencing at all.

Thursday

2009-02-20T06:17:38Z

Today was scary. Only me and Andrew at 7:30. And I left late from home! Then Harrison came. Then Catherine. Then Wayne told me to do footwork with him and Catherine(Later, Andrew told me not to, since he doesn't really help. Then since it was just me him(Brad showed up, and Keiren) he told me to go get a Lame and wire. I had to change the mask, since I took the nice small foil one. So first step. Put body wire thru the glove. then put lame on. Body wire out the back. Plug the three prong into the box thing. then pull the silver lever down on it to keep it in place. also the thing like a necklace clap has to hook on to a hook on the back of the lame too. Then you clip the head wire from your lame(?) to your mask. Then you clip the two prong thats in your glove to the sabre. Test(touch opponent to see if board lights up). I played Andrew. I lost. I don't remember much. Then I watched while Harrison reffed. Then I had to and I was brutal. Brad helped me. I think Sergei was annoyed because I was so slow cause Brad was explaining to me. Andrew too. Sergei was REALLY yelling at Keiren again. Too straight, backing up too much. Poor guy. Wayne said he admired my determination. I must look like a quitter.

Rene had also come, but late so I went and took off my lame and we dry bouted. Around this time Catherine finished so someone told her to join us. She grabed a sabre and me and Rene bouted. I lost. Then Catherine and Rene. He won. Then Catherine and me. She won. Then Brad and Catherine. He won. Brad and Rene. Brad one. Brad and me. He won. 7-10. and I started with 5. BRUTAL.

Peter had come when we were dry bouting and joined the boys. He was like "Robin. Your hair looks good. Its darker, right?" and I was like ".....um......yeah....thanks"
He's a boy. They aren't supposed to notice these things!

Left at 10:05

Things to remember: 1) keep arm up, and bend elbow or bring sabre back and THEN to target. 2) keep blade moving as advance 3) keep distance. If in lunge distance LUNGE. If they lunge RETREAT. And fast. Beat blade to get priorioty back. 3) at lunge, arm has to go before foot and hit target before foot lands.

Blue Gauntlet: 42.(2007)

Thursday

2009-02-13T07:30:10Z

Today was remarkably better. Had a vegetable salad for dinner. We walked over at 7:45 hoping we'd miss the stairs but alas, no. We sat for like 5 more minutes before starting. It was just me, Andrew, Alex, Catherine and Diomel. And then Brad came as we were finishing up, Oh, and Harrison and Kirran were there as well But Kirran had his coke, as per ush, and they just took the elevator up. We ran up once, went up from 8 on one leg up two at a time, and then back down and jumping up two at a time with both legs(SO much easier).

Then we did stretching. Brutal. But for some reason Sergei decided to pick on Kirran- he must have done something in his last session or something. I - again - dont know how to do the thing I cant do. Then we did footwork. Brutal. Couldn't keep up. Had to pop my knees all the time. He corrected me again on my arm. I always fuck that up. It sways in. Did the en guarde position and then sat back on our leg, making our front straight and then back. I had balance problems but everyone except Andrew did so I didn't feel too bad. Then everyone diverged.- sidenote: Bernard form LOST is on Grey's right now. Whoo!-Catherine was with......shit...the foilist coach - Forget his name....Wayne? then they got the boxes out., Sergei demonstrated with me what to do with Alex. Scary. as. hell. But he didn't yell at me once so thank the lord. I had to hop on the spot while feinting 5 then stepping back and parrying an attack(either 5, 3 or 4) and then riposing at whatever(while doiing a step which I would never do.). Reverse: step forward(at beginning of step, other person does their jump and feint) then lunge for the person to parry. We did that until like 9:40, then we did a bout, just me and Alex. I couldn't even make it all the way down the piste doing advances....hurts.

Talked to Wayne once. He was watching and I came for water and he said something like "nice to see you trying hard" or something like that. And I am like "yeah, I am really stubborn" and hes like "won't give up till you can do it?" and I told him yeah. I said, otherwise I wouldn't endure this torture. We talked about what I study and if I will stay with fencing.

I think my lunge got better too - if I wet my shoes or wiped the soles it was a lot easier. I could actually push off. I overheard Peter(who came late) say he was going to talk to campus rec because everyone has a hard time and we have little blobs of wet paper towel everywhere. Ridic.

Things to remember: parry 5: blade towards theirs, arm relaxed looking at the back of your hand. then just rotate wrist to make a cut to 4. But don't MOVE hand or arm. JUST WRIST.

I was so tired after our boutings that I just wanted to go. It was a couple minutes to 10 anyway. Alex gave me a ride home. I am sore and my huge hit from tuesday is now a bruise. Thank god I didn't get hit there again.

Hightligt: Serhei actually complimented me today. I am sure it is just because well....he doesn't want to loose a potential student and cash but still.

HIMYM Tally

2008-03-29T06:25:18Z

Purple Giraffe
1. Ted detailing how the party will go: "So Robin strolls over, and I casually give her one of these, "hey, whats up?" she says "Hey nice place etcetera etcetera." The way the mouths follow what Ted is saying.
2. the "She'll show up" cut to them sitting on the couch x 2-Classic HIMYM
3."ain't no thing but a chicken wing mamacita (who am IIIIIIIII?)"
4. "Carlos" "OOOOOOOOOOOH" Barney and Ted

Sweet Taste of Liberty
1."where to first?" "first we gotta pick someone up at the airport" "Okay, Im out of here" "Estaban! doors!"
2. "You're too liberal with the word legendary" SWOOSH "We're building an igloo in central park, its gonna be legendary! Snow suit up!"
3. Marshall singing a song about studying Law(first time he makes up songs)
4. We are international business men on a very important international business trip. I demand you release us immediately"
5. Its going to be legen-wait for it-keep waiting for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant cause the second half of that word is dary"
6. Screen split in three. Barney walking from his frame to Teds

Return of the shirt
1. Gradual reveal with flashbacks-Ted breaking up with her on her birthday, then on the phone, then the answering machine, then the surporise party hearing the messager
2. Ineffable

Okay Awseom
1."And his hair was perfect" entrance
2.Barney punctuating his sentences "colon"
3. Not awkward guys. Not awkward unless we let it BE awkward
4."now I wasn't there but uncle Marshall swears it happened""again i wasnt there so I'm a little foggy on the details"
5. Music break at "I'm wetting my pants"
6."finally i don't have to wait a half hour for a drink" "one half hour later"later
7."and to this day I have no idea what happened in there but when Marshall came out a few minutes later....."

HIMYMisms
Robot-Marshall
Awesome
What Up?
Suit up
Magic tricks-Barney
Canadian references -Robin
High fives-Barney
Say what?
Field of dreams
Hombre

X

2008-03-27T05:26:37Z

Trailer. Up. End cut off. Mulder and Scully about to kiss(this time we know they do!). Scary ass Billy Connally. Theme song. SNOW! Ahhhhh! Creepppppppy! "So you believe in these kind of things?" "I want to believe" I feel as if I am about to explode!

JULY FUCKING GET HERE ALREADY.

eisenheim @ 2007-12-30T23:13:00

2007-12-31T06:24:10Z

Everyone always tells me I'd be sick of doing nothing if I didn't work or go to school. Not true. I could do nothing forever. Seriously. Just reading, listening to music, talking on the phone, watching tv on DVD, catching up with friends - it's just lovely. This is the life. Truly.

I saw two excellent movies thus far on break. Juno(a winner(no sarcasm)). The cast was fantastic and I squeed a bit like an AD fangirl for the first little bit. And I saw Sweeney Todd today. They cut out a large portion of songs..which is understandable....kind of sucks though. Thought Helena, Sacha, Alan, Timothy and Ed were really great. Really great. Helena wasn't the strongest singer but neither was Depp. But her acting made up for it. Johnny was great in parts and parts....he just seems to have a hard time letting go of his past characters mannerisms that really bothered me.

So, I wish it was next year already since I cant go to Russia next year(as in..."this year" tomorrow at midnight). But again, I have changed my plans.

1. May-Travel around with Nicole where ever. But the TSR is a must. And Vladivostok.
2. Petrozavodsk for june until the end of august. Smaller. Less tourists. More "Oh my god I am so alone and trapped here I must speak to survive" -homestay
3. St. Petersburg Sept-December -Homestay
4. St. Petersburg Jan-May - Dorm

I am sure this plan will change 458 times before I go. I don't even know HOW that would work with the visas. A tourist visa..then a studnet one..for two places.....and would I have to leave the country to go from Tourist to Student. I don;t even understand how all that works.

Расчёты с жизнью.

2007-11-07T17:19:17Z

Расчёты с жизнью.

Предуведомление.

Как неверны, мучительны, а порой и просто трагичны наши с жизнью расчеты. А все из-за того, что неправильно найден и неверно прилагаем эквивалент. Собственно, нынешний мир рыночных расчетов породил, дал нам прямо в руки, абсолютный и чистый эквивалент прозрачного перевода всего во все с небольшими затемнениями по краям в маргинальных зонах, могущими быть и непринимаемыми во внимание. Я, конечно же, под этим эквивалентом понимаю деньги. Если отнестись к ним как к генеральному мировому медиатору (наподобие средневекового философского камня), то жизнь предстанет нам тотально конвертируемой и совсем в иных стоимостно-оценочных категориях. Жизнь станет на твердое основание.

В кафе Британского музея
Я выпил кофе с каким-то маленьким пирожным
Потянуло на 2 с половиной фунта
По вкусу же едва дотягивало до полутора фунтов
Но как по уровню несомненного удовлетворения выглядело как 2 фунта 30 пенсов
Результат оказался лишь в 20 центов -
Небольшой убыток.

В музее Стедлик в Амстердаме
В полукафе-полустоловой
Ел овощной суп, какое-то второе, кофе и колу
Все в сумме оказалось на 15 гульденов
По вкусовым качествам так и было - 15 гульденов
Но впечатлений была уйма - гульденов на 60
Тем более что платил за все не я
Так что прибыль можно было бы прикинуть как 100-150 гульденов.

В Кельне, в музее Людвига
В кафе пил черный кофе
Запивал прохладной колой
Вышло точно 5 марок 70 пфеннигов
Было достаточно вкусно - что-то около 5 марок
Однако же общее благоприятное впечатление заходило за пределы б марок
Так что итог был почти нулевой с едва заметным моим прибытком.

Рядом с Будапештским музеем
В охотничьем ресторане
Откушали грибного супа с кусочками кого-то
Затем зайца в сметане
Пиво и прочие запивки
На троих потянуло 3 с половиной тысячи форинтов
Я выложил 2 тысячи
Но было вкусно, даже очень вкусно - тысяч на 5
К тому же обстоятельные собеседники, шутки, национальный антураж - 10 тысяч
Итого, разделив на три, получаем 3 с небольшим
Прибытку оказывается не меньше чем 1 тысяча форинтов.

В Тент-галерее в Лондоне
С женой вдвоем взяли немного, на 5 фунтов
Но вкусно, вкусно, на 4 фунта 60 пенсов где-то
Впечатления прекрасные, прохладность и соседство высокого присутствия фунтов на 7
Тут пришел замдиректора и угостил еще на 9 фунтов
При том ценность и легкость беседы с уважительными интонациями в мой адрес
В общем, в итоге сумма трудно суммируется, но поимел где-то фунтов на 20-25.

В Москве, поблизости от галереи Гельмана,
Перекусил тысяч на 50
Надо сказать, у нас тоже умеют
Ощущение даже на 70-75 тысяч
И вообще приятно - Москва, центр, умиление и почти слезы - уже на 90 тысяч
А в итоге положительный баланс в 60-65 тысяч.

Да ладно! Родные края все-таки.

На вернисаже угощали абсолютно бесплатно
При интересе, ажиотаже и совсем неплохой пище - 40 тысяч
Скажем, в Кельне это было бы марок на 30
В Лондоне угостили бы фунтов на 7
Так что прибыль практически исчисляема.

В Дании, в Реккебринке
Во временном артцентре
Взял на 30 крон не ахти чего -
Не понравилось абсолютно
К тому же узнал позже, что как участник проекта
Мог есть и пить абсолютно бесплатно
Да вот опростохвостился. Расстроился ужасно.
Итог - убыток материальный и моральный порядка 300 крон.

Шел по улице Стокгольма
Рядом с Кунстхуссетом
Никуда не зашел
Вообше-то сэкономил
Но не было случая иметь прибыль
Хотя и не потерял своих тоже.

Смотрел, как один известный московский художник
В Мюнхенской Пинакотеке
Уплетает за обе шеки пишу ценой марок в 100-150
По удовольствию, написанному на его лице
Было ясно, что это тянет на 150 марок
К тому же на него смотрели, узнавали
К тому же в музее
К тому же праздничная атмосфера
Можно было только угадывать общую набежавшую сумму марок в 400
Итого домой привезет примерно прибыток в 280- 300 марок.

В Метрополитен-музее в Нью-Йорке
Легкой и освежающей осенью
Я сидел в кафе с девушкой
Это стоило порядка 15 долларов
Что и соответствовало качеству и вкусу
Но приятность соседства, беседа, пожатие рук, прекрасность окружения повышали стоимость до 50 долларов
А предстояло мне и вовсе нечто, что трудно оценить
Но все-таки рискнем назвать сумму в 200-300 долларов
Итого, по прошествии всего, за вычетом начальных 15 долларов оставалось
235 или 325 долларов сверху.

Вот старушка а галерее Уффицы
Кушает буквально за гроши, за 5 тысяч лир
Но по ее быстрому косящему взгляду
Видно, что она старается заставить себя оценить еду лир в тысяч 50
А значимость обстановки, вмещающая в себя резко возросший ее уровень самосознания
И того больше - 500 тысяч
Старушка ошибочно скалькулировала уже свою возвращенную молодость в миллион лир
Ничего не выйдет, старая!
Не обманешь!
Я все вижу и оцениваю беспристрастно
По прямому факту поедания тобой фактической пиши
Все так и будет - 5 тысяч лир - ни больше ни меньше.

Не всегда итог, казавшийся прибыльным, оказывается таковым
По прошествии времени и по трезвой оценке
Качество еды понижалось в своем первоначальном ошибочном денежном эквиваленте
Да и полезность или приятность беседы резко падали в цене
Так что прибыток оборачивался своей противоположностью
То есть страшным, страшным убытком.

Были у меня случаи и прямой выгоды
Когда без всяких обедов
И всяких дополнительных подсчетов
В руки попадали прямые деньги
Но как бы не отмытые культурным обиходом и редукцией
И последовательностью квазирыночных операций
Они не обладали как бы очарованием и величием
Однако же все-таки доходили до ума и сердца
Они так и были - деньги.

Я просчитывал оптимальный вариант на каждый день
В более-менее устойчивом долларовом эквиваленте
Обед 5-6 долларов
Желательно очень вкусный, превышающий номинальную стоимость на 10 долларов
В компании интересных, значительных и полезных людей, что прибавляет
Еще долларов 50
Итого имеешь в день где-то 55-60 долларов
В месяц - около 1800
В годовом расчете - 21600
Не Бог весть что, но жить можно.

eisenheim @ 2007-11-06T21:34:00

2007-11-07T04:35:29Z

19.11.07

eisenheim @ 2007-11-03T14:38:00

2007-11-03T20:46:26Z

Finally! A free weekend!

I have done nothing. Only watched tv last night and then read a bit and this morning I woke and watched Lola rennt.
Nothing particularly new. The week went by quickly. Work makes me want to take a gun to my head. So monotonous.

Almost done Katimivictim book and the author is hilarious. I think I want to read his "Why I hate Canadians" book. Also reading a book about students studying abroad and losing your "self" when you can't communicate since we associate a lot of our "selves" on how we communicate. It's really fascinating actually, especially since it is done with participants who went to Russia so they have interesting stories and it makes me feel less scared. It seems most people are scared to use L2.

I really should be taking the opportunity to begin my Russian final project or learning all the primate crap I don;t know for Anthro but I just don't feel like it. This may be my last free weekend and I am sure I will spend it on the couch.

WRITERS strike starts monday. ieee.

SF of R

2007-10-20T01:23:56Z

So, I got through another week of no sleep. But, I did manage to get some decent grades too. I just hope I can keep it up. Unlikely though, Have two assignments and a test this week. And I have NO idea what I am doing in either assignment.

And On more fun news, I have been looking into my little study abroad thing a little deeper. I went to Russian club and Olya and Nadia suggested going to...not either of the two main cities. Though, I don't think they understood that I wanted to study language...like in a class not just what I pick up from a family. They said if I wanted to go to Yaroslavl they could hook me up but my interest has gone to other direction of the country. The east. The faaaaaaaaaaar east. Vladivostok.

The place looks really interesting. The only thing, I hear 99.9% of the students are asian since it is right next to Japan and China and the Koreas and apparently their accent is very hard to understand and If I am in class with them....I am afraid I won't understand. Though, maybe it will be a push to talk to ACTUAL Russian people. I don't know.

Anyways, that is one of my main focuses. And I suspect it will be until I end up going. Though, the rocks told me I wasn't going. And they don't lie(well, for Lins more than me). I have been known to not listen to them before though.

Tegan and Sara - Living Room

2007-09-30T06:01:10Z

They are too good. And I was THRILLED they played this song at the concert. I honestly wasn't expecting this song.

Study abroad.

2007-09-30T05:42:23Z

So, I have been looking at study abroad options for next year. Because, as a Russian major, my level of understanding, writing, reading and speaking is just embarrassing.

Yeah...it's pretty fucking embarrassing.

To sit in a class with mostly Russians and have the other "non native speaker" next you you answer "не плохо" когда преподавательница cпросила "какое сегодня число?"....it's not fun. And I feel bad about saying that, because really, I am not much better than him

Anyways, choosing the city is most difficult. I know that when I get there it will be Дубна all over again. Culture shock and whatnot and being in Moscow may help that. May ease those feelings to be able to go to an American chain restaurant or go see an enlgish movie and all that jazz. But then again, I don't really want the temptation of those things. I would love to go to a city that ISN'T the main two as well..... But I really fell in love with St. Petersburg while I was there and I can make up as many excuses like "I hear they speak "purer" Russian there, and the architecture, and the history of it all, and less English students"...but I just really felt something for that city that I can't describe. It was just undescrable. To go back to Dubna after being there was like leaving a sort of fairy tale and going to...Vilna(sorry to anyone who lives in either place. They are both special in their own ways...)

I know both SPgSU and MGU are both very good and the S.A programs through both universities(no package program where everything is done for you)are good(though, I hear some bad things about Moscow's(despite the single dorm rooms!))

So, my mind is pretty set on St. Petersburg I guess. Something big would have to come along to change my mind. Plus, I loved Moscow too so I will have to visit a couple of times. I really would love to go around Christmas. I have seen some spectacular pictures of Red square all lit up. I think school must take a break around new years and doesnt start again until after the 15th-ish? Don't know, but during that time will be my "get me out of St. Petes!" time.( The 23rd-25th of December will be brutal, especially since I don't know how many more years Baba will be hosting Christmas. She thinks she wont be around much longer....But I am sure I will find some fellow international students to celebrate with on those days)...i digress.

So, I have my eye on 3 different programs. I still have to talk with the rents about them all. I am sure my dad will throw a hissy about how it will take me 6 years to complete my undergrad and tell me I am cut off, but whatev. I only have one life to live so I have to make it mine /Juliet from Dirty Sexy Money(I won't have maids carrying out my 40 pieces of luggage and staying in the hotel my parents buy me though).

So, the choices are as follows(in no particular order):

1)
Center of Russian Language and Culture:
http://www.crlc.pu.ru/
10 months worth of classes: (this is with 15% discount for studying that long):3944
Res:3395
invite: 36
transfer: 25
med insurance: 141
Total: 7541

Pro:
-It is in the Smolny institute, which is beautiful. When I was there I didn't realize it was a school as well.
-could possibly get credits for my undergrad(would need to see an academic adviser though since it isn't a program offered THROUGH my uni)
-free bus from hotel to the uni in the morning
-Hotel close to metro station
-guy on facebook said the program was decent
-in classes with native speakers of various languages(no safety net!)
-could possibly have a single occupancy room from October-May

"Each apartment in the Hotel consists of two or three bedrooms. Single occupancy (one person in a bedroom) is available October through May. There are many students in the Hotel May through October and therefore only double occupancy (two people in a bedroom) is available. There is an entrance hall, a kitchen with a refrigerator and an electric stove, a bathroom and a toilet, a TV-set and a telephone (Internet connection is available for an additional charge) in each apartment. Bedding is changed every ten days. Kitchen appliances and utensils are not provided, but can be bought in the supermarket next to the Hotel.

There is a cafe and a laundry room on the ground floor in the Hotel.

The University Hotel Administrator is on the ground floor in room 8 (office hours are from 8:30 am till 7:30 pm). Duty Administrator's office is open 24 hours a day. It is located in the entrance hall of the Hotel.

Safety and security receive particular attention at the Hotel. The entrance is allowed upon showing Hotel guest card only. The Hotel is secured day and night. Each student receives two keys: the first one is to the apartment, the second is to the bedroom. These keys are to be given to the duty administrator when leaving the Hotel. The Hotel is open twenty-four-hour, but your guests should leave it till 11 pm"

-The pictures look fairly decent. Though, those I am sure are the BEST rooms. Which...scare me. But I lived in barracks last time I was there. I will live.

2) School of Russian and Asian Studies.
So crazy amazing that It scares me. The price reflects it( Though, not as bad as the AIFS program which is 20,000 for 8 months. I am hoping to keep it under half that...I will live off of lapshas if I have to. I miss that "mushroom" flavor...)
- http://www.sras.org/
Program: Russian as a Second Language

Cost: 10,539
Includes 20 academic hours per week (10-12 if individual study) of language classes, dormitory accommodation, visa and registration, health and accident insurance, pre-departure materials, local orientation, round-trip airport transfers, cultural program and SRAS in-country support. Programs in Moscow and St. Petersburg include mobile telephone with initial phone card.

Pro:
-cultural programs, everything taken care of for you basically- seems like it will be less to worry about.
-Cell phone. I mean, I could just buy one when I get there but that would be difficult with the amount of language I know. I'd need to take a Russian to come with me to do if for me, but there is no guarantees I could make that happen.
-free TORFL test after 10 months.
-could do "study-travel"
-could get an internship(IF, i was in Moscow..but I write poorly so I doubt it)
-grants
-credits, again if I can get UOFA to agree.
-if I decide against st. Petes there are LOTS of cool places to go:

Moscow
St. Petersburg
Nizhny Novgorod
Novosibirsk
Irkutsk
Khabarovsk
Vladivostok
Bishkek
Bishkek

University or School

Lomonosov Moscow State University
St. Petersburg State University
Linguistic University of Nizhny Novgorod Novosibirsk State University
Irkutsk State Linguistic University
Far Eastern State University of the Humanities
Far Eastern National University
American University - Central Asia
The London School in Bishkek

3)Directly thru SPgSU(I would study there with the other two programs anyways, but this is the more terrifying option. I can just imagine walking terrified to get my university ID with my little(most likely)little picture and shaking. and I mean actually. That is if I could even find the building. Good. Luck. Me.
-In the department of philology.

Tuition 10 months: 4760
dorms 10 months: 1200 (7 months 840)
home stay 3 months: 2040(I only want to live in homestay my last 3 months
invite: 40
AIDS test: 16
med insurance: 100
Total with homestay: 7796
Total with dorm only:6116

Confused about the dorms. They have 1,2,3 listed together and 4 separately. I don't know which is better....

Pro: Possibility of sea view from dorms(which though?)
Possibility of Russian
Cheaper
Academic credit: would have to see if they would deal with that on their side
TRKI test when arrive and leave. Certificate?

Con: I'd have to do EVERYTHING by myself it seems. Which is frightening. Later on I am sure I'll Be fine, but when I just arrive? This is the option where I completely jump off the saftey of the nice warm ship into the ice, piranha infested waters. Don't know If I am up for that. Even at the price....

Anyways that's whats stewing around in my head at the moment. I will have to contact each and ask questions like can I live in dorms AND homestay? Do I pay in one fell swoop or per month? Is it possible to pay for one semester only and then if I decided to stay the full 10 months can I still get the discounts?(This is important to me, as I don't want to be stuck there if I really can't handle it), certificates upon completion? credit? Transcript? internet in dorms? and if so, for how much? is it possible to take some weeks off when I want to travel around Russia and still come back and not be lost in lessons?( I assume not since people will be coming and going all the time(that will be hard...to make friends and have them all leave before you(the international students that is)

Well, this has been a sufficiently long entry. I shall just leave it at that for tonight. Have to get to bed so I can get up tomorrow and start cramming for my health and illness test. Blergh.

PS. I hate shaw. No cable until the 7th of Oct. Another week of missing Heroes, DSM, PP, UB and 30rock(maybe scrubs too). It's painful(This would be why I need the internet connection while in Russia. What? you thought it was to keep in contact with my loved ones? Har.

eisenheim @ 2007-09-23T13:38:00

2007-09-23T19:38:39Z

Он один такой на этом свете,
Он один такой на этой планете,
Он один такой кого судьба не грела,
Жизнь моя надоела....
Надоело от всего пустого дела,
Надоело неумело с жизнью обращаться,
Далеко отошел, но поздно возвращаться,
Для того чтоб измениться.
Я с теми, с вами, кому нужен был,
Кого не забыл, память в сердце хранил,
Я не смогу тех людей забыть,
Которые мне помогали жить.
Я жил как все, но безответно.
Я решил конкретно, что мне это не надо.
Меня не вернет никакая награда.
Не знаю, кто я был для людей - человек или мразь,
Время все равно сотрет эту грязь,
Сотрет все беды, сотрет....
Он один такой на этом свете,
Он один такой на этой планете,
Он один такой кого судьба не грела,
Жизнь моя смысла не имела...
Простите меня, ради бога, простите...
Я не вернусь - а вы этого хотите?
Нет, хватит, я там уже был,
На все насмотрелся, с болью в сердце жил.
Никому об этом не говоря,
Я точно знал, что это будет зря.
Кому-то говорить - смысла не имело,
Их только волновало личное дело,
Это не должно их жизнь бурить.
Да могли они такое не говорить,
Я все прекрасно без слов понимал,
Что я давным-давно уж всех потерял...
Долго с горем не мог смириться,
С тем, что смог от них отделиться...
Я верил им, но понял что ошибался,
Я как был один, так один и остался
Он один такой на этом свете
Он один такой на этой планете
Он один такой кого судьба не грела
Жизнь моя ...простите меня...
Простите меня, что уйти решился,
Хватит, один раз уже оступился.
Так будет лучше для меня и для вас.
Я оступился - но это в последний раз...
Меня ненавидели и избегали,
Как только могли, ругали во всех
Что только есть грехах...
Жизнь моя была в чужих руках,
Для своей даже жизни я был чужой,
Ее я иногда называю Госпожой.
Никак не мог я поверить в это
Я отправился сюда только ради ответа,
Который как нестранно отыскал,
Душу свою по мукам таскал,
Как же легко в пути заблудиться...
Жить так не нравится, жить так не годиться.
Слова мои пусты... как жизнь моя пуста...
Я не смог все в жизни расставить по местам...
Он один такой на этом свете
Он один такой на этой планете
Он один такой кого судьба не грела
Жизнь моя смысла не имела....

eisenheim @ 2007-07-23T22:33:00

2007-07-24T04:33:17Z

QUEENIE
Always wanted to see the lights of Broadway.
I always wanted to hear the traffic roar.
I always wanted to be a part
Of New York City's great big heart.
And now I am. I couldn't ask for..

I was that girl. I'm all of them. Trapped in a room full of shadows and not enough light. And soon we will fade away, into the walls, into nothingness. The end.

BLACK
People like us: We get through the day
Surviving the city way better than most.
We go through the motions
From nightcap to nightcap:
Here but not here.
With the heart of a ghost.
People like us: We meet up some night
In a room full of strangers who call themselves friends:
It feels like a dream
But it's too hard to tell
Where the dream begins
And the real world ends-
And where- where do we belong?
We might have to ask ourselves:
Where- where do we belong?
People like us:
Private stock.
Where?

QUEENIE
People like us. We take lovers like pills.
Just hoping to cure what we know we can't fix.
And we'll lay in their arms
And we'll say pretty things:
We'll be there but not there
But we'll still get our kicks-
People like us: We sure get our kicks:
And we heal awful fast and we don't even scar:
We are here but not here
Ina roomful of friends
We could join in the fray
Or stay here where we are-
And where- where do we belong? BLACK: Where?
Do we need to ask ourselves
Where- where do we belong? BLACK: Where?
People like us:
Damaged goods. Where? BLACK: Where?

BLACK
We dance alone on a crowded floor.

QUEENIE
We weren't given much.

BLACK
And we don't expect much more...

QUEENIE
-"More" is not a word we use.

BLACK
"More" would never be enough

BOTH
People like us: We slip by through the cracks
We'll never be famous. So who's gonna care?
Nobody needs us
And everyone's had us-
We're here but not here:
We've been there but not there-
And where- where do we belong?
We only have ourselves.
Where- where do we belong?

QUEENIE
People like us.
Lost.

BLACK
And found.

BOTH
Where...?
Where...?

「これが俺たちの行き方さ」

2007-04-25T23:39:54Z

Tomorrow. Come now.

eisenheim @ 2007-03-18T21:02:00

2007-03-19T03:02:30Z

“There aren’t any ferryboats in San Diego.”

She blinked and glanced at the voice next to her. “What?” She had been scanning to see which security line was the shortest but she supposed it didn’t matter anyway; she had allowed time for them search her bag like they always would and find nothing like they always would plus time to stand around and worry about him not showing up.

“There aren’t any ferryboats in San Diego.”

“Derek, I heard you,” she looked at him sideways. “You came all the way to the airport, a full two and a half hours before my flight takes off, to tell me that?”

“No. I came all the way to the airport a full two and a half hours before our flight takes off because I booked it last night and my seat’s all the way in the back and I want to see if I can change it. The ferryboat thing just got you to turn around.”

He had easily gotten a job at the other hospital in the city, they were glad to have him. It wasn’t that hers didn’t want him, it was that they had fallen apart both times they worked together and an unvoiced consensus stopped him from even asking. They had chosen to live separately and start over from the beginning, even if it was just different hotel rooms on the same floor. After one month they consolidated and after three they began looking for a house and after four they found one. They exchanged smiles in the dark after they made love for the first time in their new house, happy.

They joked that as long as they weren’t throwing things at each other, they were doing okay. Crumpled up napkins and popcorn didn’t count.

--

She absently swirled her wine around in her glass and intentionally rubbed her foot up against his leg under the table. “So what actually made your decision to come with me?” She shook her head at the waiter who offered her freshly-ground black pepper on her salad. “You said you booked the flight the night before.”

He sighed and declined the pepper as well. “I flipped a coin.” He grinned at her puzzled eyebrow. “Six, actually. Best of three tournament for each. Heads every single time.”

She took a sip of wine to calm her laughter. “And heads was Stick It Out With Addison?”

“No, actually. Heads was Stay In Seattle. I kept going because I really wanted tails to win.”

http://community.livejournal.com/kele_varekai/10542.html

Loved that.

She was halfway to the door when Derek called her name.

"I told you," he said, "I don't want to leave you."

"That's not the same as wanting to stay with me," Addison said softly. She laid her hand gently on the door knob, the metal cold to her touch. Then she turned slowly to face Derek again. "I worried about you," she said, and then she went inside, shedding her jacket on the kitchen table. She decided the moisture in her eyes was due to the cold wind blowing in from the north.

http://seema.org/ga/backtogood.html

my day.

2007-02-13T03:51:37Z

Oy oy oy oy oy.

Got a dentist thing in the mail today with a checklist. And I think I am going to go have a consult. See if I can get those things. Or the invisbraces thing. Just something.

I havenjt started studying for music. I feel sick about it.

Told Bon-bon today Juls was coming to visit. Finally. Feels good to have it known. It's nice people I know will get to know her, espscially if I can go to New York. Since I wont be going with a stranger.

I skipped EAS again. I feel bad about abandoning Breanne though. But 9AM class? never again. Never before 11.

I ate yogurt past the due date. I hope I dont die.

WATER, a feature film by Jennifer Houlton

2007-02-13T00:55:51Z

Holy fuck.

"The high pressure goes into the sausage of mountains" -EAS proff.

2007-02-11T19:19:09Z

"Ahoy mateys! arrghh! now after ye finish ye cakes of cup and your juice boxes of berry, who of ye dared to set ye sail for high adventure in me backyard and find your hidden treasure?"

The pirate hat wins. And you know what else wins? her perfect hair. And itunes just brought up some JT and for some reason I can't get out of my head the little dance she did on JK when Justin's music started. She is ab fab. Really.

Parents left finally. But I am not studying because Lins is coming into the city and I am spending the afternoon with her. I am so totally fucked this week. Work and 2 midterms.

Boom Boom Ba - Addison and Alex

2007-02-06T07:02:24Z

The first video I ever made. Hopefully I can make more.

And I just cried.

2007-01-30T05:21:43Z

They stand, looking at each other.
We hear Dr. Cox's voice before we see him, again, in the psychologist's office.

Dr. Cox: Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down.

He continues speaking as we watch Elliot and J.D., in the break room, silently facing each other.

Dr. Cox: [continuing] ....One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time, if it's right, and they're real lucky. One of them will say something.

After one last look, Elliot turns and walks out of the room.
Dejected, J.D. sits down.

Cut to: The Psychologist's Office
J.D. sits, facing the camera.

J.D.: Things that wouldn't'a bothered you a week ago in a friendship become so incredibly important when sex is involved. I just...I think it'd be easier if you weren't friends with your girlfriend.... At all.

Cut to: Elliot, taking her turn.

Elliot: I've always been so sure about everything in my life. I was--I was sure I that wanted to be a doctor, and I was sure that I was gonna be married by the time I was 25.... But, relationships.... I always heard that when they were right, they were easy. That--that, even when things got hard...that they were easy. I don't get that at all, you know. [she laughs] How is that possible?

Cut to: J.D.
J.D.: Am I in a relationship now?

Back to: Elliot
Elliot: ...No. Uh, I'm not in one now.

Back to: J.D.
J.D.: [thinks a moment] ......No.

~*~

J.D.'s Bedroom
"THAT DAMN FIRST DAY...11:59 PM"
All that remains of the pizza is a crust and a half-eaten slice. J.D. and Elliot, both dressed and holding hands, walk into the living room, and towards the front door. He opens the door and leans against the frame. The two embrace and kiss.

J.D.: I can't believe today's over.

Elliot: I can't believe I ate half a pizza.

J.D.: Oh please, Elliot, I had, like, two pieces.

Elliot: If you tell anyone anything about today, please leave that part out.

J.D.: I will. 'Cause I'm a gentleman.

They laugh, and she kisses him again.

Elliot: So...

She drops her eyes, but he lifts her chin.

Elliot: ...Do you think this is gonna work out?

J.D.: [whispers] Yeah... I think it's gonna be great.

They kiss once more, and she starts out the door.

Elliot: [smiling] I believe you.

J.D.: [watching after her] I believe me, too.

He goes back into the apartment, and closes the door.

END

JD as Dr Cox

2007-01-28T19:43:08Z

"Oh Perry, you are so edgy and cantankerous. You are like House without the limp."

Scrubs

2007-01-28T19:42:38Z